Top 7 Reasons WoW Addicts Kill Themselves

I had an incident today. I was minding my own business thinking of all the stuff I had to do on WoW when suddenly the power goes out. I look outside and notice the bad weather and wait patiently for the power to go back on. Nothing. I wait 30 minutes. Nothing. Kos calls up the power company at 7:30 pm after the power had been off for 2 hours. /Robot Voice ~”The estimated time of restored power to your area is 11:00 am tomorrow morning.” …I hate you robot voice. I hate you. Thankfully it was turned on by 10:00pm.

So that starts us off on our list.

Power Outages
They happen at the worse time ever. You’re about to roll on that one piece of loot you’ve raided for 3 months and never seen dropped until now of course. Brrrm. (That was my powered down sound effect.) The power is out! Tighten that noose. It won’t drop for you again. Ever.

She’s a Maaan, Baby!
That’s right. You’ve confessed your love to her. Opened up your soul and your gold. You’ve found the fact that she’s never sent you a pic or talked on vent mysterious. You like mysterious. You like her. Unfortunately for her your friend is a computer genius and has managed to dig up some very interesting info about your gf. She’s a 43 year old beer bellied, Nascar watching, butt scratching, mucus snorting man.

Nerf Hammer FTL
The most common excuse. You can no longer spam that one button and wtf pawn the noobies because Blizz decided to pick on you. Yep it was completely personal. How many more lives must you ruin Blizzard before you stop?!

Where’d All My Stuff Go?
This covers a few things. Accounts being hacked, your kid brother logging onto your account, that trusted officer taking off with your guild bank, or anything similar. Yep, all death worthy. All the hard work of 3 years gone. The 12 hour days farming gone. It literally says “You wasted your life.”

Oh No He Didn’t!
It’s all about that one epic drop. The one you’ve been waiting for. You’ve just been out rolled by the guy who joined the guild 1 week ago.. oh and it’s for his off spec. Owned.

Noobpawner Owned You
Ok, that’s it! You’re done raiding! You’re gonna level your new toon now. While out questing you get killed by some rogue 10 levels below you. WTF. You run back to your body to rez and he kills you AGAIN. And again. And again. To add insult to injury the guy’s name is “Iownzyou,” “Noobkiller,” “Ikillnoobs,” or some variation.

Nerd Rage
You’ve become so fed up with WoW that you nerd rage to your guild. Your GM decides that you’ve taken it too far and has kicked you out. Think that would stop you? Even angrier you turn to Trade chat. Oh ya, you spam that bad boy with how pissed off you are and how now your own guild hates you. Numerous people report you for spam leaving you banned from WoW. Alone and still raging you realize you have no friends outside of WoW.

Have anymore to add?

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